


Bloody Post-it Notes

by Kitsune9tails



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Challenge Response, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Gift Fic, Light Angst, Light-Hearted, M/M, No Sex, Nothing's Impossible for the Turks, Post-it Notes, Snow, Strife Delivery Service
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 18:18:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13082583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitsune9tails/pseuds/Kitsune9tails
Summary: A Challenge-related gift for beandalf.  It's almost Christmas, but, oh no!  Cloud has one, two... five hundred deliveries to make.  Who will help him?





	Bloody Post-it Notes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



"So, Cloud, I know it's stupid to ask, but you actually picked up the phone this time, so... do you think you can make it this year?"  
The phone was held close to his ear; despite the freezing cold inside and out, he was dressed as usual; a gilet/turtleneck/thing and cargo pants.  
"Sure. I'll be there."  
"Really?! Sorry, that sounded..."  
"It's fine. Really, Tifa, I want to be there."  
"But, will you?" She was stood behind her bar, anxious twirling the cord around her fingers as she hopped from foot to foot and bit her lip. She knew he wasn't interested, he was barely ever home, after all, so why did he still have this effect on her? A moment passed in silence. "Denzel misses you, you know. The same way Marlene misses Barret. Say you'll be here - for them."  
"... Sure. I said I would, and I meant it. I know. I'm... distant again, but..."  
She shook her head wistfully and blinked away tears that surprised her, and she later blamed on the cold (in her well-heated bar). "It's okay. I know it's difficult for you. You're trying. That's all that matters." Neither of them said anything for an uncomfortable spell. "Everyone's coming." She was scrambling, and she knew it. There was... a wall between them, something profound, but unknowable. For some reason, she was desperate to keep him on the line, even though it had all been said before. On Cloud's end, there was a muffled sound, a short laugh cut short, perhaps. She smiled. It was nice to hear a little warmth in his voice again.  
"Yeah. Everyone usually comes. Christmas is for... family, after all."  
"The nine of us were the weirdest family ever."  
"Yeah. Haha." For a moment, they laughed, filled with nostalgic memories, but then, they remembered that the nine of them were only eight. "I should probably..." He trailed off.  
"Right. I'll see you on Friday?" The line went dead. She rolled her eyes. Cloud is Cloud.  
Yuffie came bustling over, grinning broadly, and wearing festive apparel. Clad head-to-toe in anything red with a white trim she could find, no matter how many buckles they had, how ugly they were, how impractical, or how many garments she actually donned. "Was that Cloud being a royal pain in the ass again?" She chirped.  
"Naturally." She put her closed hand to her mouth to hold back a laugh, but ended up with tears rolling down her cheeks instead. Yuffie rubbed her upper arm reassuringly. "I'm just worried about him. It's a difficult time of year for him."  
"For all of us." Yuffie confirmed.  
"Maybe we should go check on him."

Having just put the phone down, Cloud sighed and looked around his work/living space: the walls plastered with post-it notes. Almost to the point that he could barely move. There were orange ones with the client's name and address, and purple ones next to them with the same details for the recipient. Unfortunately, they'd become so thickly layered it was now almost impossible to tell what was for whom. Never mind the fact that it was December 22nd. He had a lot of work ahead of him, it seemed. He had, of course, tried to reorganise everything when it first started to get out of hand. But, well, what can you do when people keep calling you, just barely having enough time to write everything down and slap it on the nearest available surface before the phone rings again. And now? Now he was screwed. Reeve, Cid, Barret, Tseng, even Reno had told him to take on a few extra hands. Frickin' _Reno_! Of course, the fiery redhead had been alluding to something else, as always.

It was a few hours later, and he'd made... some progress. Some. Not a lot. Some. There was a knocking at his door, so he rushed over to answer, though it would barely open over the piles of post-its that had built up on the floor.  
"Cloud?" Came Yuffie's sing-song voice. She stuck her head through the small gap; smiling so wide that her eyes got screwed up. How many teeth does this girl have, anyway? "We brought you pie" Here, pie had four syllables, somehow. Just like her favourite word.  
"Can we come in?"  
"Oh, Tifa. Hang on, the place is kinda-" Yuffie burst through the door; sending paper flying every-which-way. "Messy right now."  
"Sorry." She giggled. She didn't sound sincere. And what the hell was she wearing?! The entire winter catalogue?! From every department store in the city?! Tifa followed calmly in the manic shinobi's wake.  
"We came to see if you were okay. Clearly, we were right to be concerned."  
"It's not as bad a it looks." Cloud's stubborn side had awoken, it seemed. The same reason he was his only employee. "I just need a little..."  
"Help?"  
"Time." He said firmly, with a deadly glare aimed at both of them. He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "And, yeah, maybe a little help too. But you guys are busy enough as it is. I'll give Reno a call; he owes me a favour." He announced decisively as he tried to shoo them out the door, frantically gathering the spilt post-its as he did so.  
"Oh, so you can work your phone?" Cloud rolled his eyes and kept shooing. "If you're sure you'll be okay..."  
"I'll be fine." He practically shoved them out the door.  
"Well, you can always ca-" The door slammed behind them, cutting Tifa off. Cloud turned and slumped with his back to the door. Fuck it. He'd been bluffing, but there was no way he'd be done on time at this rate. He picked up his phone, hearing the antechamber door slam shut, probably cracking knowing Tifa's strength when she was mad. He frantically punched in the number for Reno's phone, which he had memorised, but refused to actually save to the device out of principle that he was annoying and not to be trusted.

He picked up on the third beep. "Yo, Spikey. Long time no see." Came the distinctively laid-back tones. "What d'ya need?"  
"Help." Was the only response. In the beat before Reno answered, seeking clarity, Cloud had already continued. "Come in through the window. Don't ask questions." Reno made a sound like he was about to say something, but the blond bastard had already hung up. He smirked, chuckling. He glanced over to Rude, sat in the co-pilot's seat, fuming about Reno picking up the phone while he was flying a damn helicopter. Not that the brash spec-op would ever risk anything happening to his baby. Not since that incident with a giggling maniac who learnt to fly shooting the joystick off as he launched himself through one door and out the other. Damn Remnants. And this was the calm one.  
"Yo, Rude. What's our afternoon look like?"  
"Peachy."

True to the word that Cloud hadn't asked for, and he hadn't given, he and Rude found themselves shivering on Cloud's fire escape, knocking on the window, too fogged up to see through. Cloud slid it open with some effort, and the Turks crawled through, over his desk. One more gracefully than the other. They stood in the middle of chaos central and took it all in.  
"Holy..."  
"Hn. Look, Rude. A bomb went off and it didn't make the news." He chuckled under his breath, loving any chance to get under Cloud's skin.  
"It's not as bad as it looks."  
"No, it's worse." He wandered around, caring little where he stepped, leaving shoe prints on half the notes. "So, you got orange for senders and purple for sendees, right?"  
"Right."  
"How many?" Asked Rude. Cloud said nothing.  
"You don't know, do you?" Reno chortled.  
"Are you gonna help, or stand around mocking me all day?"  
"Both?" Cloud growled at hearing this. "Hey, lighten up, man." Reno brushed past him like a damn cat. "We'll call in some guys. Nothing is impossible for the Turks."

It took them all bloody day, but between them, they developed a convoluted map, covered with crosses and lines connecting them. "Tseng, you stay here and co-ordinate, 'kay, boss?" Tseng stared blankly at him. "Rude 'n' me 'll take the South side, Sunshine's got the North, Elena can go West, and Cissnei East. Nice to have you back, by the way, Shurikens."  
"Good to be back."  
"Everyone clear on what they're doing?" There was a chorus of affirmation, and everyone left with their copy of the map, each marked with a different set of lines. Reno and Rude were taking the largest section of the city, with the most back-and forth, because they had the chopper. Cloud was taking the next one down for similar reasons, with Cissnei right behind him, each with their own bike. Elena was going on foot, so had the smallest workload, and would likely be done first. There were some setbacks, like Reno being so belligerent with the customers that Rude had to take over, and leave him on the Lady Luck (which he had just named that week, and hadn't painted yet. He would probably change his mind, anyway).  
"But I'm a people person!" He had protested. Not that Rude fared much better with his noncommittal grunts, stern expression, refusal to remove sunglasses indoors, or at night, and being barely able to speak. Or just not wanting to. Not that it made much difference _why_ he was silent. Just that he was. Elena had her own issues to deal with, like being cold, running everywhere to keep warm, then being out of breath when the customer answered the door. Cissnei and Cloud had the easiest time, with their cool demeanour and Cloud's personal experience. Honestly, Cissnei probably had more success by virtue of simply being friendlier. The only issue Cloud had was not being familiar with the earpiece, which at one point had crackled loudly and nearly had him crash, or drop the package. Neither of which had happened, but it was a close call, nonetheless. Once they'd finished, the sun was setting on Christmas Eve, and the first flakes of snow were beginning to fall.

Everyone was called back to base (Cloud's apartment/office). They were all pretty knackered, and glad to be done with it; especially Cloud, who hadn't slept in three days before they started. Now it was five.  
"Five hundred damn parcels. Signed, sealed, and delivered. Y'know, you really need to hire more guys. If not for this, then to help you unwind." Everyone ignored Reno, except Cloud, who rolled his eyes before making his retort. They were sat around Cloud's desk drinking ... whatever was in the poorly labelled bottle they'd found under Cloud's sink. Reno had gone first, and he didn't die, so they assumed it was ethyl alcohol.  
"Unlike you, I don't need to pay for it." This was met with a chorus of hollers and wails. People didn't usually talk back to Reno. It would be a never ending amount of work for very little payoff.  
"Whatever, man. Rude works for free." This was met with stunned silence, and Rude hiding his face behind one of his hands. It was all very awkward and rather killed the mood, until Cloud burst out laughing a full ten seconds later. It wasn't like human laughter at all. More like possessed shrieking. Unnerving didn't cover it. This went on for some time, everyone staring at him uncomfortably until he fell off his chair. He clambered back up, Mako-blue eyes nearly crossed, and massive bags under them from shear fatigue; leaving everyone to wonder if it was the lack of sleep or the... whiskey? Champagne? Expired potion? Drain cleaner? It sure tasted like drain cleaner. And all the others combined. Why were they drinking it? Good question.  
"Ahem." He had just managed to sprawl himself across one of the chair arms, so that his chest hurt, and the only parts of him in contact with the cushions were his forearms. "Sorry." Reno waved it off, seeming slightly dazed. "How... um, how long have you been...?" He gestured vaguely with his arms, making all sorts of strange expressions with his face. They were meant to be leading, or kind of ... y'know, y'know? But this... stuff was playing havoc with his nervous system. Probably. Why were they drinking it?!  
"How long have we been doing the dance with no pants? Well," he took in a big, deep breath, but fearing what he was about to say, Rude covered Reno's mouth with his free hand.  
"Last Christmas." He finished for him. Reno was flailing about, continuing his muffled story, with horrifyingly graphic detail.  
"Well, you certainly kept that close to your chests." Tseng spoke at last. He'd been so quiet ad so still that everyone but Elena had all but forgotten he was even there. "Not like Reno at all to keep such a secret, or any secret at all, for that matter."  
"Hey!" Reno broke free at last. "I can too keep a secret. It's been five years and I still haven't told you that Elena digs you, yo."  
"You bastard!" She shrieked, jumping up.  
"So much for that. But don't worry about it, I already knew."  
"You did?" She was petrified, ashamed, and on the verge of tears.  
Tseng nodded sagely. "I did. Luckily for you, I find you fawning to be quite endearing. I must confess that I, too have been harbouring similar feelings for some time."  
Elena gasped, and clapped her hand over her mouth. "But, you're always so..."  
"Cold." He finished for her. Her heart was pounding in her ears. "The Turks function as an undercover syndicate within ShinRa. Spies are modern-day ninja, in a sense. And unlike that annoying friend of Cloud's, true shinobi must never show emotion of any kind. I was merely maintaining a professional air."  
Their eyes met. Holding Tseng's stony, piercing gaze was almost painful. "But now that we're off-duty..."  
"You raise a valid point." He said with his voice laced with consideration. He thought of how his next actions could affect his career, and hers, but ultimately decided to shrug and play it by ear for a change. He took her chin in his finely manicured hand and kissed her full on the lips. She blinked rapidly for a second, processing this development, then kissed back with gusto. Reno started making some obnoxiously loud sound of celebration, Rude disengaged almost entirely, and Cissnei and Cloud found themselves disinterested, and so drew into their own conversation.  
Cissnei began by whispering. "I'm glad you recovered. Last time I saw you, you were very ill. I honestly didn't think you'd make it." Cloud looked puzzled.  
"Sorry. I don't remember."  
She understood immediately. She hadn't really expected him to. But she decided to fill in the blanks. "It was between five and six years ago. You had Mako-poisoning, or Mako addiction, which we were calling it at the time. Technically accurate, but it sounded too judgemental."  
He looked even more confused. "Mako poisoning? That was... back in Mideel, right? But you're wrong about the date. That was only around four years ago. Next month, in fact."  
She shook her head. "No, I meant that other time." She pushed. "After Zack escaped with you." Flashes of light and glimpses of far off places struck out behind his eyes. "I helped you in the fields off the West Continent, and again near Gongaga." He clutched at his face and began to cry out as little pieces floated around in his mind. Distant memories.

"You have five minutes left..."

"Cloud, run!" 

Those were the only pieces that leapt out, but, still, there was a fire in his eyeballs. A terrible migraine. He ground his teeth and watched little lights and dots dance in front of him as the room began to spin in multiple directions at once, getting twisted about in the process. He stumbled over to the kitchenette and threw up into the sink.

It was a little later, and everyone excused themselves to leave. Cloud was about ready to collapse, as were they all. The others had sobered up enough to drive (or even fly) home, when Cloud expressed concern for their safety, he was simply reminded that nothing is impossible for the Turks. He was stumbling towards the bedroom when re tripped over his desk and stubbed his toe. Never again would he drink... whatever that was. The bottle was empty now anyway, so he couldn't.  
"What's this?" Below the desk, tucked away out of sight was one pair of post-its stuck together that remained. "Shit!" He scrambled to the earpiece stuck it in and got Reno's frequency. "We missed one! We missed one!"  
"Dude, relax. Drink some more of that... stuff. It was awesome."  
"Reno, this is serious. Please. Could you and Rude just come back and help me with this?"

They were sitting in the chopper, parked on the roof. Well, Cloud was pacing, but Reno and Rude were sat opposite, one calm, the other stoic. He was frantic. Clutching his hair, rambling. "I'm so tired, I can't even read it. But it's my handwriting, right?"  
"Relax, man. We've got the package on board already, and me and Rude are very familiar with the address. Just sit down. We got this."  
"You already have it? How?" Cloud demanded. Reno looked to Rude for help.  
"You passed out for a few moments after we brought you on board."  
Reno snapped his fingers. "Yeah. We read the note, and picked it up."  
"Then why are we still on my roof?"  
"It was in your building, man. Seriously. Take a load off, we got this." He took Reno's advice for once, and sat down, head in hands. When next he opened his eyes, he was in a small, but cosy apartment. He looked around wearily, and found himself sat on a soft, black leather couch.  
"He's up." Rude grunted.  
"Hey, sleeping beauty. Feeling better?"  
"Where..." He yawned. "Where are we?"  
"Home." Rude said simply.  
Cloud leapt up. "What about the last delivery?!"  
"Relax, man." Reno drawled, ushering Cloud to sit back down. "If you take a look at the note, you'll see it says 'one blond bastard to a comfortable bed for once." Cloud wasn't sure what to make at this, and scrunched up his face, deep in thought, suppressing apoplexy, and trying to resolve how he had been tricked. Seeing this, Reno decided to explain, but Cloud cut him off.  
"You planted the last note?"  
"Yep."  
"And you knew I'd be too tired to read it."  
"Yep."  
"And you forged my handwriting?"  
"Ye- actually, that was Elena."  
"Elena?"  
"Yeah, she owed us one for fixing her up with Tseng."  
"By blurting out that she liked him?"  
"Hey, yo, she said she wasn't confident enough to do it herself."  
"So, you knew how he'd react to you and Rude being together?"  
"Yep."  
"And how to get me to actually make a comeback to your nonsense for once? And what that would be?" He was getting pretty shrill at this point.  
"Jeez. Yes. And don't break the damn windows."  
"How?"  
"Nothing is impossible for the Turks." He replied, smirking.  
"That's not an explanation!" Cloud protested.  
"Whatever, man." Reno slunk over to him, and put his arm around his shoulder. "Look, you're way too tense, yo. If you don't relax, you're gonna snap. So we brought you here to relax." Rude sat on Cloud's other side, silently.  
"I'm leaving." Cloud tried to stand, but the Turks grabbed his shoulders and had him sit once more.  
"C'mon, man. It's late. Just relax, and ... look, if we make you uncomfortable, tell us, and we'll stop, okay?"  
Cloud shook his head. "This is getting pretty uncomfortable already." As soon as the thought left his mouth, however, Reno was kissing him. Cloud pushed him away, panting, heat flooding his chest, but then, despite himself, leaned in and kissed the fiery redhead back. Already, the lascivious rogue's hands were wandering up and down Cloud's body. Rude reached around from behind him to unzip the warrior's gilet, but he immediately tensed up. "Wait. I'm... not quite ready. I think, for tonight, just kissing, a little touching, maybe."  
Reno put up his hands, all innocent, except for that eternal smirk. "Sure, man. Whatever you want."  
"And, what, exactly do you guys..." He floundered, gesticulating wildly, blushing and slightly panicked.  
"Want?" Reno finished, and Cloud nodded, blushing a little. Reno chuckled, tilting Cloud's chin up a little to kiss him softly once more, then a little harder, then he bit his lip, and snickered when the blond recoiled.  
"You." Rude answered.  
"We... talked it over..." Reno started running his hands over Cloud's covered chest, making his breath slightly... breathier. "And decided that you're lonely, and we want to include you. It can be... casual, romantic, friendly, whatever you want. Honestly, we're not really sure what this... is."  
Cloud's eyes flickered back and forth as he processed all this. "so, what now?"  
"Well, we were gonna fuck you" Reno said in the most casual way possible, as though he was asking the time, or stating his opinion on the weather. "but since you're not there yet, maybe... just sleeping together. We'll let you decide the amount of clothing." He winked. Cloud's porcelain skin burned bright red from his chest to the tips of his ears, and he held his breath. "Didn't realise you could be so ..." He licked his lips. "bashful."  
Rude stood up, taking Cloud by the hand. He trembled slightly at the apparent size difference; though Rude wasn't that much taller, his hands dwarfed Cloud's own as he led him to the boudoir, with the scarlet lunatic sauntering in their wake. The bed was king-sized, with an oak frame, and black satin sheets under an indigo duvet. The three of them lay down together, enjoying caressing, and kissing each other. Cloud found that Reno tasted like whiskey and spice, but Rude tasted like honey and milk.  
He himself tasted of strawberries, not that he would ever know. Rude was content to follow Cloud's lead, never going any further than their new companion had already progressed. Reno, on the other hand, was a little more adventurous, and so would sometimes move his fingers under the hem of Cloud's top, but as those mere tips ghosted against his skin, he would immediately tense up, and so Reno would retreat. As fun, yet frustrating as it was, before long Cloud's breathing slowed, and his heavily dark-rimmed eyes had progressively more and more trouble staying open.  
"Time to sleep." Rude stated.  
"Yeah, yeah." Reno tutted, feigning disappointment. Cloud yawned and removed his gilet and cargo pants, but kept his boxers on; setting the dress code for the evening. He sank into the mattress on his chest and sighed contentedly. Clod hands on his back had him tense up again, but he soon relaxed into Reno's skills as a masseur. He occasionally grunted as one by one, Reno removed the kinks and knots from his developed musculature. He kissed the nape of Cloud's neck and bid him good night, as he sank into a pleasant, dreamless sleep, swiftly followed by his bedfellows.

"Where the hell is Cloud?" Yuffie squawked indignantly, hands on her hips. "He's not even here to see my new outfit!" It was much the same as the other day, but more toned down; having limited herself to one of each kind of garment. Thigh-high boots, and elbow-length gloves, accompanying a sort of... Mrs. Claus ensemble; sans advanced age, or any sense of propriety. Red fabric lined with white fur formed a button-down shirt and miniskirt, accented with black belts and brass buckles. Far too many of them, in fact. Tifa sighed wearily and just sort of nodded.  
"He'll be here. He said that he would." She convinced herself, as she moved through the crowded bar, serving drinks to her gifts; friends and family from the last five years or so. The room was dark, but not foreboding, with a warm and gentle ambience; naturally formed through the positivity of their mere reunion. Even Vincent had left the seclusion of wherever he hides himself these days to join the merriment. The snow and wind could be heard howling outside, suddenly much louder as Cloud fell through the door to a chorus of greetings by his friends, and a warm smile from Tifa. A weight had been lifted, and he smiled too, as behind him came Reno and Rude, much to the room's dismay. But Christmas is a time for family, and their family of about twelve was the weirdest family of all. Especially now that it includes a Reno.


End file.
